Talking to a loved one about senior living can be a tough conversation to have. Here’s some advice on preparing for a healthy discussion.
Throughout your life, there are times when you are forced to have difficult discussions. Talking to a loved one about moving to senior living is one of those times. Some adult children say it is one of the conversations they fear most.
Don’t Give Up
Everyone has an inner voice telling them when they need to talk something over with someone. In a case such as this, that inner voice may have been pulling at you for a long time. Fear can easily drown your inner voice, however, causing you to delay “The Talk.”
That’s understandable since discussing major lifestyle changes with a senior loved one can be stressful for everyone.
It’s also why you need to make time to prepare for this discussion. The consequence of avoiding this sometimes uncomfortable conversation your loved one can be dangerous.
Even if you think having the talk will only make things worse, it’s important to express the feelings you’re having. Those feelings are rooted in concern and love, after all.
How to Prepare for ‘The Talk’ with a Senior Loved One
What you have here is a primer for preparing for “The Talk.” Reviewing this advice before you talk with your senior loved one may help improve your chances of having a healthy discussion, rather than one that ends up with everyone feeling hurt and frustrated.
- Consider the Situation from Their Point of View
Before you even think of approaching what might be a sensitive topic for your senior older loved one, stop and think. One major fear older adults express about aging is that they will be forced to give up control of their own lives. This loss of independence might make them more resistant to change.
Think about it: they’ve lost friends and possibly even their spouse. Their physical health might be slipping, and they may be losing some of their mental sharpness. On top of that, they may no longer be able to drive. Holding onto the lifestyle they’ve known for decades is becoming more difficult.
Being sensitive to those feelings will help you find the right way to begin the discussion.
- Series of Discussions
One sure-fire way to step on toes is to drop in out of the blue and try to take command of your senior loved one’s life. That’s exactly how it will feel to them if they don’t interact with you very often. And it’s important to know that decision to move will require more than a one-time talk with a loved one. In all likelihood, it will be a series of discussions.
Spending more time with your loved one(s) will help you understand how independent they really are. It also allows for the topic of senior living to arise naturally during the normal course of conversation.
Even if you live far away, try to visit on weekends more and to have “face-to-face” conversations via Skype every few days. Eventually, the issues will emerge and The Talk may occur naturally. The key is to practice good listening. According to AARP, it’s important to set the right tone. This is hard to do if you don’t communicate very often.
- Gather Information on Local Senior Living Communities
Spend time researching the options for senior living. At some point, your senior loved one may want to know what’s out there. Being able to supply useful information will help that discussion.
Go one step further and prepare for questions about senior living communities. One common concern is how they’ll make friends in their new home. Knowing about the types of social activities a community offers can help allay those fears.
Legacy Senior Living Supports You
Whatever outcome you hope for in your conversation, it’s important to remember that you’re not alone. Legacy Senior Living understands the hopes —and fears— you have for your senior loved one. You want to know they’re safe, healthy, and happy. Those are our wishes too, for every resident who moves to one of our independent living communities.
If you’d like to learn more, we’re here as a resource for you. Call us or use the form you see on our pages. If you’re in the neighborhood, stop by. We’d love to see you!